Laila had performed CPR on a potato once. That’s how stressed she was.
It was three days before her big presentation at Artemis, and the pressure was crushing her soul into a pulp. She had survived 24-hour shifts, insane attendings, and patients who somehow thought Google knew more than a medical degree. But this? This was the real nightmare.
Sheen found her sitting in the resident lounge, looking like a ghost who had been through three levels of medical hell and lost a battle against a PowerPoint template.
"Okay, what’s with the face? Did you just diagnose yourself with a rare, untreatable disease again?" Sheen asked, sipping her coffee with the emotional investment of a brick.
Laila dramatically threw herself over the table. "Worse."
"Worse than the time you drank formalin instead of coffee?"
"THAT WAS ONE TIME, SHEEN! And no, this is different. I have to present ‘Cardiac Complications in Post-Surgical Patients’ in front of—" she gulped dramatically, "—THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT. The HOD will be there. THE HOD, SHEEN. You know how he looks at us when we exist incorrectly!"
Sheen blinked. "Like a disappointed father who regrets all his life choices?"
"EXACTLY!" Laila wailed.
"Okay, but why do you look like you’ve been electrocuted by anxiety?"
Laila sat up with the urgency of a squirrel on caffeine. "Because I AM ELECTROCUTED BY ANXIETY. I have to explain why post-op patients randomly decide to have cardiac episodes like it’s a season finale, and I— I CANNOT DO THIS."
Sheen leaned back. "So, let me get this straight. You have operated on actual humans. You have seen life and death unfold in real time. You once removed a foreign object from a patient’s nose that turned out to be an ENTIRE PANEER TIKKA PIECE, and you’re scared of a presentation?"
Laila nodded aggressively. "YES. You don’t get it. I tried to practice just now, and my brain SHORT-CIRCUITED. I started explaining ST-elevation like I was narrating a crime thriller. I literally said, ‘And then, ladies and gentlemen, the ST segment decided to take a suspicious detour. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.’ Sheen, I AM LOSING IT."
Sheen tried. She really did. But she burst out laughing so hard that her coffee nearly exited her nose.
"I AM HAVING A BREAKDOWN AND YOU’RE LAUGHING?" Laila shrieked.
"You just turned an ECG into an episode of CID. Of course, I’m laughing!" Sheen wiped her eyes. "Okay, okay, relax. Breathe. You’ve got this. Just... don’t explain heart attacks like a Netflix documentary on serial killers."
Laila groaned. "That’s easy for you to say! You’re calm and smart and can present things without turning into a walking, talking, chaotic mess!"
Sheen smirked. "Yes. That’s because I—unlike some people—don’t consume 14 cups of coffee before a presentation."
Laila gasped. "HOW DARE YOU. Coffee is my coping mechanism. Would you tell a fish to stop swimming? A bird to stop flying? ME TO STOP MY LIQUID SANITY?"
Sheen sighed. "Fine, but if you drink any more, your heart’s gonna have a cardiac event before your patients do."
Laila dramatically flopped back. "I give up. Maybe I should just accept my fate. Maybe I’ll forget everything mid-presentation, pass out from sheer stress, and become a case report in the next conference. ‘Doctor collapses while explaining collapses.’ I can already hear the attendings whispering, ‘Classic Laila’."
Sheen rolled her eyes and pulled Laila up. "Listen, dumbo. You know this stuff. You’ve spent nights reading and working on this. You survived last week’s ward round from hell. You can handle some slides and a bunch of doctors. And if you do mess up..."
Laila squinted. "If I mess up?"
Sheen grinned evilly. "Just fake a cardiac arrest and get out of it."
Laila stared. "That is—" she gasped, "—THE BEST IDEA EVER."
And that’s how, three days later, in the middle of her presentation, when the HOD raised an eyebrow at her explanation of myocardial infarction, Laila dramatically clutched her chest and whispered, "Oh no... cardiac complications... in real-time."
Sheen had to physically drag her off the stage.
The legend of Laila’s Presentation of Doom lived on forever.
THE END. 🎤🤣
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